I went to the doctor yesterday for my 35-week check-up. I'm going to complain. I'm just warning you...
1. My uterus is now growing right on schedule. It looks like giant uterus days are finished.
2. The doctor did a screening for the GBS virus yesterday. When he told me what he was going to do, I wanted to shout, "Ummm...you're going to put that cotton swab WHERE, now?" I felt like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride 2 when he's taken that sleeping medicine and then someone accidentally parks his wheelchair in front of the prostate screening room. He comes running out, tucking in his shirt and says, "Excuse me? Do I know you?" I vote I never have to do that again. Thank you very much.
3. The nausea has returned with full force. I've thrown up four times this week. I thought I was done with this! I guess the good news is that I'm losing weight again...and The Doctor seems fine with that.
4. I'm pretty sure The Lentil's foot is permanently entwined in my two lower ribs. She loves to run her feet down them as if they are a xylophone.
5. I've never been more exhausted in my entire life. Even if I sleep pretty well at night, I wake up feeling like I haven't slept at all. It's all I can do to stay awake at work until lunch time, when I grab my pillow, head for the back room, and take a nap. I'm good for at least 25 minutes after the nap is over.
6. My hands and wrists have started swelling, which is good, because now they match my feet and ankles. I tried to put a cute pair of shoes on the other day and my feet literally wouldn't fit into them. Please tell me this is not a permanent condition.
7. I have to hide from The Tummy Toucher at work. For some reason, she thinks she now needs to touch my belly five times a day. Even I don't touch my belly five times a day.
8. I now have to start weekly forays to the doctor.
And speaking of that, I need some help....I'm going to go into detail, so if you don't want to know stuff, stop reading now.
Those of you who've been reading this blog for some time know that one of my number one panic inducing events is being touched by any doctor. Just think of the most traumatic thing you've ever been through...or could think about going through. That's how I feel about being touched by a doctor - especially the OBGYN.
In the coming weeks, I will have to submit myself to who knows how many cervical exams - I kind of feel like a lamb going to slaughter. I'm scared out of my mind. Just even thinking about it makes me sweaty enough that I could go down a slip-n-slide without any water.
What is wrong with me? I don't know how to overcome this. I don't know how to relax. I don't know how to not sit on the exam table, bawling my head off, hyperventilating, thinking, "If my heart goes one more beat per minute faster, it's literally going to explode."
My doctor is a nice guy, but he doesn't have any patience for my panic. He just sees an uncontrollably hysterical woman who has no reason to be hysterical.
Someone please help me.
7 comments:
Don't worry, after you have your baby, you will have been subjected to every humiliation possible. After that, everything will be small potatoes. There will be nothing else to dread. Also, having a baby cured me of my fear of needles....except for the epidural needle. I still refuse.
Oh, Erin. I'm sorry. Panic is an awful, awful thing. Going to the OB is never fun. Good news is that you're in the home stretch and you'll be done with it all before you know it. Think of it this way - you only have appox. 5 appointments left. Then, you'll be done and will just be making weekly forays to the pediatrician. And, you have the coolest pedi ever.
Also, meant to ask, are you all set up for the baby? I'd love to come help you get everything organized and ready for baby Carolyn! Just shoot me an email if you need ANYTHING!
I only have two pieces of advice, and they are only semi good.
1. Talk to your doctor, and explain exactly how uncomfortable you are. He may have some calming techniques he can use, but doesn't want to use them out of shear laziness.
2. When you are lying on the table, say a prayer and go to your happy place. Tell yourself a story. Relive a moment from your life. Do anything you need to take yourself out of that moment.
And I just thought of something else. Get a blessing. Heavenly Father doesn't want you to be miserable through this whole experience (despite what the sickness may feel like). He will help you through.
I'm sorry that this is so hard!
I don't know of any woman who actually likes going to the OBGYN -- it's something we all just endure. It helped me to think of the millions of women who have gone through this and survived -- especially the women close to me such as my mom, sisters, grandmas, aunts, etc. I'm sorry your doc isn't sympathetic to your anxiety! You may have to figure out some coping techniques on your own in spite of him. :)
It's probably too late for this now, but do you think it would be any better if you had a woman doctor? Just a thought. Other than that all I can say is I agree with what was said above, pray, get a blessing, and know that it's almost over and you will get through it and you'll have a beautiful little baby when it's all over. Good luck!
Other than the first visit, there is ZERO reason to do a pelvic exam on a pregnant woman.
Let me say it again, Pelvic Exams during pregnancy are NOT medically necessary. Even your doctor will tell you that, if you ask. Aren't you happy now, that I stalk your blog?! :)
Seriously.
Exams to check how far effaced and/or dilated you are during the last 5 weeks of pregnancy can induce infection, premature labor and are just plain uncomfortable.
All you have to do is tell your nurse when she checks you in that you don't want a pelvic. Isn't patient directed care GRAND! Lots of people don't know they are the boss, not the doctor. S/he's there to provide options and carry out the option you choose. True story. Think of them as servants, but with better pay and a benefits package.
My last piece of advice is to seriously consider a doula or monitrice. They can accompany you to your appointments and help you stand up for what you want, and don't want. They appear at first glance to be spendy, but having done a labor both ways, it's money VERY well spent.
My Best to you and your birth,
Becky
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