More Correspondence

Dear Elder "The Giff" Nielsen -

Thank you for an entertaining fireside last night.  You know how I love a polished speaker who also uses sports anecdotes to get their point across.  Because you know, I played sports down to Wells High School, which is pretty much the same as the NFL, so I can totally relate.

Gracias,

Erin

PS Your hands are massive.



Dear Fox 4 Affiliate -

I really appreciate you coming to church to interview The Giff.  However, I did not appreciate that because of it, the meeting started twenty minutes late.  You see, I have an extremely cantankerous fetus in my uterus that manifests her displeasure at being fed irregularly with waves of nausea, dizziness, and fatigue. That extra twenty minutes was almost the death of me.  Ok.  So maybe it was my fault because I forgot to pack a snack, but whatever.

Regards,

Erin



Dear Loud Laughing Lady -

The Giff was clever and witty, but not that clever and witty. I wonder if you are friends with Loud Commenting Lady.  If so, please tell her I missed her last night.

Thanks,

Erin



Dear Single Girl -

You've been home from your mission for at least four years.  It's time to get rid of the sister missionary clothes.  I think I'll stage an intervention.  My mother had to do it for me when I got home - she made me throw away most of my jumpers and my pioneer skirts.  Because let's face it, they were ugly.  If I can't talk you into getting rid of that black skirt will you at least consider getting rid of the mission shoes??

Bless  Your Heart,

Erin



Dear Makers and Installers of Women's Bathroom Stalls -

When making and installing bathroom stalls, you really are going to need to take into account the pregnant women.  Because of a massive belly, the only way to get out of the stall is to back up, straddle the toilet, and then swing the door as wide as it goes, while trying not to fall over or step in the puddle of urine someone left on the right-hand side of the commode. 

Thank you for your consideration,

Erin



Dear Makers of the New A-Team Movie -

Here's the deal.  You can't make an A-Team movie and not include gold jewelry for the new Mr. T.  It just wasn't right.  I also didn't hear a single, "I pity the fool!"  It was like getting an ice cream cone with no ice cream.

A Little Disappointed,

Erin

PS I love Bradley Cooper.



Dear Mother Cat -

I really wish you hadn't taught your kitties how to hide over the weekend.  Now I can't catch a single one of them.

Upset,

Erin