I've just now realized it.
I'm in trouble.
Big trouble.
Because I'm not a normal woman. And I'm especially not a normal Mormon woman.
I know, that's a big shocker to all of you who know me.
Normal women have this thing. This instinct. This desire. To take care of babies.
And me?
NOT INTERESTED.
I've never been interested. And I didn't know it until this morning.
Other girls played with dolls and pretended to be mothers.
I didn't.
Other girls want to hold and cuddle and care for other people's babies.
I don't.
So, here I am, thirty-one-years-old and pregnant for the first time...and I know nothing about babies. When I say nothing, believe me, I mean nothing.
Oh, I've changed a few diapers in my lifetime.
I've never fed a baby. I've never even held a baby for a prolonged period of time.
You see my conundrum.
Husband and I went to a baby care class last night.
It literally made me sick to my stomach.
We weren't even talking about the big stuff. Just wiping bottoms, sucking snot, and colostrum (which looked like pus to me. Just sayin').
My reaction to almost everything that was said?
OH.MY.WORD.I'M.GOING.TO.VOMIT.
The very worst part? When they showed the video of the baby sitting on the mother's stomach, cord still attached, covered in that thick, white stuff that keeps them from getting pickled skin in the embryonic sac. And then they compared the white stuff to cream cheese.
It might have put me off cream cheese for the rest of my life.
The only thing that kept me calm was thinking, "So-and-so has kids. She's an idiot and her kids are still alive. It can't be that hard."
The instructor kept saying that we would know there was something wrong if "the baby wasn't acting right".
How am I even supposed to know that? No baby seems normal to me until they can sit up and tell me what they need or want.
My baby care education continues on Saturday, when we're enrolled in a birthing class (good Lord, I'm going to have to watch the birthing video again...and we know how that turned out last time) and then Monday night when I'm going to learn how to breastfeed.
Husband says he doesn't want to come to the breastfeeding class. Mostly because they'll show that "National Geographic breast stuff" and it'll embarrass him.
We're going to be such awesome parents.
6 comments:
you will make a great parent and this is why. you will not be helicopter parents. you will raise adults not children. they will be independent, thinkers, they will know and live the gospel. they will be smart and not "need" their parents for every tiny thing. they will be these things because you will have allowed them to grow rather than smother them.
that being said...you will have to change diapers and suck snot so they can reach the independence stage...i will be here to help you with that.
love you tons!
Oh Erin, I can really relate. I always say - I'm a dog person, not a baby person. In other words, I feel more maternal towards a stray animal than I do about someone else's kid. I've never been the type who gets all gaga over other people's babies. But, I promise, promise, promise it is so different with your own kids. Trust me - I was TERRIFIED. I had such a nasty pregnancy that I was actually mad at my unborn child for the trouble. I thought those feelings would remain after labor. But, no... I promise. When it's your kid, you WILL have an instinct, you WILL know when they're "not acting right" and you WILL develop skills and abilities you never knew you had. Cream cheese or not, you'll think that newborn baby is the most precious little alien you've ever wanted to know. And, don't worry if it takes awhile to get to feeling really comfortable and at ease with motherhood. It is a process for most people - not some instantaneous moment. But, you're going to be a great mom and you'll surprise yourself with how much you really do know.
You're actually a step ahead of me. I never took any classes because I KNEW I'd freak out. So, cheers to you!
Heck, I am probably the referenced "so and so" and Gabi's doing ok, right? :)
the only type of class i took was birthing classes- and all of those breathing techniques just went out the window when i was in labor. i didnt really care about how i was breathing, I just wanted him out!
honestly, I was never able to tell the difference between Landon's crys. Some moms know what cry means what, I just guessed around and figured it all out.
Like Holli said, its a process. you will be a great mom!
Here is my 2 cents for ya :)
I had a friend recommend a breastfeeding book to me a few days before I had Lucy (i didn't read anything with emery) and it helped so much! It is called "Breastfeeding made simple: seven natural laws for nursing mothers".
BULL CRAP. You did too play with dolls when you were little. Still, I'm not sure playing with dolls translates to any actual skill when caring for an actual child. I don't care one whit about other people's babies...in fact sometimes they sort of repulse me...i shouldn't admit that in public. But I still like my own kids. And, they almost always wipe the cream cheese off the baby before they give her to you. Nursing? It can be frustrating. I know lots of women who have tried, and ended up giving up, and some who were grossed out by the whole business, so they never even tried. It takes time and patience. But let me tell you...it beats hauling around formula and bottles all the time. You always have something warm and ready when you need it. And the childbirth thing? Doctors practically have it choreographed with all the drugs now. Even if you are using all the drugs, though, I think you should learn all about the stages of labor. It's just good to know.
Confession: I don't really like other people's children. I feel a little guilty it but I just don't. It is completely different when they are your own children.
You will be fine.
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