Every Sunday yet another reason why I'm going to hell is revealed.
I teach the 3-year-olds. There are nine of them. NINE.
In my opinion, there should never be nine 3-year-olds together ANYWHERE and if there are, it should be an electrically-fenced-in compound.
I'm going to come right out and admit that the first thing I do when I get to church is case the joint looking for certain families. If they're there, I groan. If they're not, I'm relieved. Elated, even.
I know.
What kind of attitude is that?
Oh, thank goodness! Such-and-such family didn't make it to church!
But there are days where I just can't handle some of the kids.
Today was one of those days.
I had a prolonged wrestling match with one - it was so athletic that by the end of church I smelled like I'd been to the gym. I knocked them clean off their chair once. Yes, it was an accident.
I sent them flying into a pile of chairs when they tried to bolt past me headed for the door and I missed the arm grab. Yes, that was an accident, too.
And on a bathroom trip, they were running down the hall as fast as they could go, looking back at me, when their face ran straight into a metal corner strip - knocking them flat on their rear end, screaming bloody murder...right when all of the adults were coming out of Sunday School. Awesome.
The kid ended up going home with a black eye.
Of course, I couldn't really care, because at the same time another one of the kids was running full-tilt into my belly as I was trying to coral him. Knocked the wind right out of me. And it made The Lentil furious.
Speaking of my tummy, is there any reason why, since it's getting bigger, the 3-year-olds think it's actually a punching bag? One of the little girls snuck up on me while I was helping someone else and slapped me in the gut for all she was worth. Twice.
I'm going to have to start wearing full-body armor to church.
The good news is that one of the ladies brought me her used baby "travel system" - a car seat that attaches to a stroller. I checked it out online and it's worth $400. I just love hand-me-downs!
4 comments:
Wow! Better you than me, my friend!
I heart hand-me-downs too. I have to say, being in nursery (as you well know) has been giving me quite a workout as well. Man, I was pooped and out-o-breath by the end of church yesterday. And as much as I enjoy your Sunbeam posts, for everyone's sake (including the Lentil's), I really hope your time remaining in that calling is of short duration. :)
Why don't they get a clue and release you already? Geez. Thanks for making me laugh at your situation, though. :) You rock.
For Lentil's sake, let's hope that you get out of Sunbeams and are able to take some parenting classes or at least some non-aggressive teaching techniques. Sounds like a good idea for Lentil's safety!!
Post a Comment