Thank Heaven

This weekend I had a dream.  Nay, a nightmare.

I was single. 

Husband (who wasn't yet Husband) and I were at a party together.  He was flirting with another girl.  I was sitting in the corner thinking, "Ummm...hello!  Why'd you chose her?  Obviously I'm the better choice."

Then I was following them around, leaning in to eavesdrop on their conversation honestly trying to figure out what he saw in her.

Finally, Husband broke out in sign language, which led the girl to proclaim to her friend that Husband was "pretty much the perfect guy".

That's when I realized it was a dream.  Because even if Husband knew sign language, he wouldn't use it.

I woke up, thanking heaven that I'm not still single.

Because I was horrible at being single.

First of all, I was the worst dater on the face of the planet. Even the thought of it gave me panic attacks. Not that I dated very much.  Mostly just set-up dates that ended in disaster because I'm sorry, after I find out that someone's a dork, I have a really hard time being nice to them.  And they were all dorks.  Because apparently all of my friends thought the dorks and I were a love match.

Secondly, I never, ever had crushes on boys who liked me back.

For instance, I could have had a long, happy life with Kent Stonehocker (his real name).  He thought I was cute, like Shirley Temple (his words, not mine).  He thought my loudness was adorable.  He wanted to snuggle up to me and nuzzle my ear in the dark and be my love bunny.

But I couldn't like him back.  Because he was from Canada and he didn't go to BYU, he went to UVSC.  I know!  Totally valid reasons.  Oh, and his eyes were kind of sunk back in his head like the grim reaper.  And the grand finale - there's no way I could go through life as Erin Stonehocker.

Instead I loved a boy named Russ.  I can't remember his last name, so it must not have been weird.  He didn't love me back, though.  Despite all my very best efforts, he loved Rosa instead of me.  Of course, I didn't understand it - because really, what did he see in her??

Thirdly, I was apparently unapproachable.  I don't know what that means, but many, many boys have told me that.  Maybe it's because I'm so mean.  Or intimidating?  Really, I have no idea, but I'm sure my sister, Nancy could tell you because she was the outside observer to all of this awkwardness.

In conclusion, I'd just like to say how happy I am to have found Husband (through, amazingly enough, a set-up kinda-sorta-deal)  - who isn't scared of me, who is bigger than I am, who thinks I look good in piggy tails, who eats my gross banana bread and tells me it's good, and who seems to love me for who I am.

Quite simply, it's miraculous.