Friday, April 09, 2010

An Ounce of Pretention is Worth a Pound of Manure

Ok. 

I'm just going to come out and say it.

My two biggest pet peeves are pretention (this includes posers, one-uppers, and self-braggers) and weak handshakes.

As Drum Eaton wisely says on Steel Magnolias, "An ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure."

One of the DJs we ate lunch with yesterday (yeah, in case I didn't mention it, I totally won my first radio contest EVER for a free lunch at the local Japanese steakhouse.  Oh, wait.  I did mention it?  Five times??) had both - a fishy handshake and enough pretention for everyone at the entire table.

His first question when we sat down was, "So, are you all Survivor fans?"

And before anyone of us had a chance to answer, he launched into this spiel about how he's got all the insider information on Survivor because he "has a source".

He totally knows how many more immunity idols Russell finds (two).  And he knows who the final three are.  And all kinds of other important stuff.

It went on for about 30 minutes of the meal.

I was sitting there, sucking down the most delicious California roll I've ever eaten, thinking, "Good grief, what a dork.  His "source" is probably the guy who holds those giant microphone looking things."

But apparently I was the only one who felt that way.  Everyone else was enamored.

Things like that don't impress me.  Like I don't care if you know or have met celebrities.  I doesn't make you more or less important in my eyes.  Celebrities are just regular people...with ridiculous amounts of money.

The good news is that the afternoon DJ for the country radio station turned out to be a really nice guy.

Oh, and the food was free.

Then the pretentious DJ ended the meal with a weak handshake.

And we all know how I feel about that.

10 comments:

The Livingstones said...

so i guess you wouldn't be impressed that i showered in the same shower that matt damon showered?

Anonymous said...

I love celebrities, and I am totally fascinated by them, HOWEVER, everytime somebody says, "I KNOW _____", even if its just the freaking owner of wherever I work, I want to be like, "Really? Do you know how much cooler that makes you in my eyes? Before you were just a regular person, but NOW, now you're really something!" (NOT.)

It especially irks me when they pull the "I know the owner of this establishment" line....Awesome. So do I. Your point?

Anonymous said...

Oh, and weak handshakes annoy me too. I go in for a good one and end up with a firm grip on someone's class ring. And those are usually the sweaty ones. Ew.

Kristen said...

I agree with you. Name-dropping drives me especially crazy. With that being said, did the guy happen to mention who the final three were??? :)

Teagan said...

Oh yeah...well I have a story that is going to beat the pants off that story. This one time, on my mission...Just kidding :) Congratulations baby momma.

Holli said...

Eeeee... radio jockeys are gross. A local one tried to hit on my friend at a work event - AFTER she told him she was happily married and AFTER she told him she has a four year old son. Wonder if it was the same one?

At least the sushi was good, right?

Erin said...

Nancy - what on earth were you doing in Matt Damon's shower?

Kristen - No, at the begging of the others present, he did not reveal the final three. I'm sure I could call him up and ask because I've totally been branded one of his "peeps".

Holli - It was B-Shaw (94.1).

The Livingstones said...

it would really be a story if matt damon was actually in the shower too - but alas he was not. no - not damon, let's say jason bourne. he's much hotter. anyway, he rented shanna's dad's cabin in jackson hole for a ski vacation,,,and i guess we all just assumed he showered when there - but that may not necessarily have been the case. the shower was still amazing without mr. damon.

Kristina P. said...

Uggg. Guys like that irritate me so much.

stephanie from texas said...

brandon shaw`s voice is super annoying! he is always at tokyo.
i hope you werent stuck with gary lee love..he is gross!