How I Feel:

This is how I feel today:

  Kind of nut-so.  Frustrated.  Screaming inside.  A little hairy on the chin (but that's another discussion for another time).

This is how I want to feel:

Peaceful.  Relaxed.  Able to sleep normally.

The massage test is now two days away.  I've been carting around a bag full of study materials for nearly six months.  I'm just now barely passing the practice tests by the skin of my teeth.

  Last night I dreamt about testing all night long.  Filling in giant bubble sheets.  Looking down and not even recognizing the test material.  Yelling at some man who suggested that if I didn't pass the test, it would be because I am a less-than-quality person.

I feel like I'm on the chopping block.  If I fail, I don't know that I'll have the heart to keep studying (or the cash to re-take the test).

I'm so ready to move on to the next thing, which, naturally, is a breastfeeding class.  My life is a veritable lesson in awesomeness.
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I'm so tired.