Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Giant Uterus Havers Not-So-Anonymous

Hi.

I'm Erin.

And I have a giant uterus.

And my giant uterus apparently contains a giant baby.

You wonder why I have stretch marks?  GIANT BABY ON BOARD.

I'm thinking about getting a sign to wear around my neck.

Yesterday was my 24.5 week check-up.

The Doctor began to measure my tummy.

Then he grabbed my chart, searching for something.

Then he looked back at me and said, "WHOA!  How far along are you?"

I told him I am 24.5 weeks.  Or something close to it.

He looked back at the chart and said, "Well, see, that's funny because you're measuring at just over 30."

Umm...funny ha ha or funny WEIRD?

He continued, "It's funny because last time, you measured right on target.  And you haven't gained any weight since then.  In fact, you haven't gained even 1/2 a pound during your entire pregnancy."

Ok.  So...what does that mean exactly?

"Well, it's probably just the way you're carrying her but I'd like to do an ultra sound at your next visit to rule out a giant baby."

Ass-cuse me??  GIANT BABY?

It was then that I pictured myself on the Today show talking about my 20 pound newborn with a full set of teeth and hair on her chest, "No, Meredith, she's just a giant baby...who smashes the Gerber baby food jars with nothing but her pinky finger....why yes, we've picked out a name...we've decided to name her Godzilla."

And with that, I'd like to encourage all of you other giant uterus havers to come out of hiding and tell me all about it.  Something like, "Erin, I had a giant uterus with all my babies and all of them are normal" would be nice.  Please, no specifics on your labor.  Because labor stories still freak me out.  As do all pictures of newborns.  Just so you know.

8 comments:

Meg Barry said...

Is it a giant baby or normal sized twins? =) Love your blog!

Erin said...

Oh, Meg, sweetie, let's not start the twin conversation. Mostly because I refuse to believe they missed an ENTIRE BABY on my first ultra sound. Although, I have had several dreams with twin girl babies in them. Then again, I've also had dreams where kittens have turned into white, hairless, leperous rats.

Kristina P. said...

Does this mean your baby will end up on Maury!?!? That would be awesome!

stephanie from texas said...

you silly girl. yo crack me up!
i wish i had some awesome tale of a my ginormous uterous but all i have is the opposite. Sawyer measured weeks smaller the entire pregnancy and i was on bed rest for 4 1/2 months. even had to have surgery to remove a cyst on an ovary during 2nd trimester.
see small uterus bad. giant uterous...no big deal!

Unknown said...

A girl at work had the same thing. Her baby was totally fine and not big at all. She apparently just had a lot of fluid.

Davis Family said...

At least you haven't gained a ton of weight! I agree with Melissa, I think you just have a lot of fluid.

Jill

Amber Bailey Stevenson said...

I love you Erin. I always get a good laugh when I read your blog.

Laura said...

Okay Erin, you are not alone. I went to the doctor this morning for my check up and I am right at 26 weeks (technically not until tomorrow but you know). At this appointment we were going in for the measurement and he measures at 29 weeks after looking at it two or three times. Then he told me that it was okay, at this stage in the game it is somewhat normal to measure a little bigger. As far as the weight thing, just be glad you aren't packing it on. I have done the slow and steady route but I STILL get depressed when I go to step on the scale and it reads 4 lbs. more than the one I have at home.