Back in June when New Receptionist Denise was training Fill-In-Receptionist, Fill-In-Receptionist got into Denise's snack drawer and ate the remainder of Denise's bag of Cheetos.
Ooooo-weeee, Denise was mad. I thought she was just kidding and I laughed and laughed at them fighting over it.
But she wasn't kidding.
You see, Denise was eight months pregnant at the time.
I didn't understand it until now, but unless you want to lose a finger, an eye, or your life, don't touch a pregnant woman's snacks.
Today my desk is literally surrounded by food. So surrounded that it might be attracting bugs and small varmints but I figure I'm really can't be held responsible since Lamar has failed to provide me with a safe place of adequate size to store my plethora of deliciousness.
Everyone who walks by assumes, incorrectly, that since I have so much food, I must want to share with them.
They impose themselves upon me and talk about how they didn't eat breakfast/lunch and how they're just soooo hungry. They eye my Nutter Butters. And my Girl Scout cookies. The only thing they don't eye is the bag of prunes, because let's face it, who really eats prunes unless their bowels force them to?
Let's get this straight right now, people.
I do not now nor will I ever want to share with you.
I need ALL of this food.
Although, I might be able to spare some prunes if you're having an acute attack of gastrointestinal distress.
Because that's something I can totally sympathize with.
2 comments:
The least she could have done was to buy her a new bag of Doritos.
Lmao! That did make me pretty freakin mad! Fill-in-receptionist thought I wanted to share everything with her, when in all honesty I wanted to put a combination lock on that drawer! I NEEDED every last crumb of those cheetos! Duh!
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