Pregnancy Update

Here is the pregnancy update for week 19.  As stated before, this is so in 30 years, when my girl asks how my pregnancies went, I'll be able to remember.  And yes, there is a high probability this post will contain TMI.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

1.  My abdomen is starting to feel heavy.  I really don't know why since according to this website, The Lentil should only be weighing in at 8 ounces.  Maybe there's like 25 pounds of placenta??

2.  And since my abdomen is feeling heavy, I feel a great need to stand like a pregnant woman - hands upside down on my lower back, sticking out my gut.  I've also started waddling intermittently.  Kind of like a penguin.

3.  I'm following all the food rules and still my intestines refuse to work right.  Good grief, but how many prunes is it going to take??

4.  Whoever wrote the book about the second trimester was a big, fat liar.  I am still throwing up 2-3 times a week (which admittedly, is better than 2-3 times a day), still have constant nausea, and am still very, very tired. 

5.  Oh, and the fetus-induced emotionalism that's supposed to even out after the first trimester has actually gotten worse over the last 6 weeks.  I cry at everything.  Like speed skating.  And the Olympic Opening Ceremonies.  And Jack Bauer killing another Russian with nothing but his legs.  I'm pretty sure those were tears of happiness, though.

6.  Pregnancy brain is a real thing.  I've been trying to study for my national massage test (I know, I STILL haven't taken it) and 10 minutes after I put my notecards down, I can't remember a darn thing.  This does not bode well.

7.  I think I've got a little baby bump going on now.  Of course, if you didn't know I was pregnant, you still wouldn't know just by looking at me.  You'd think I'm just putting on a little weight.  That "little weight" feels like stabbing pains on either side of my belly when I have to get up or turn over.  What the heck is up with that??

8.  There's a guy at work now who refers to me as "preggie".  I wish he wouldn't do that because "preggie" kind of reminds me of a parasitic worm.  Don't ask me why.

9. I have this weird thing where, for the most part, I don't want to talk about being pregnant (mostly because it scares me and I figure if I don't talk about it, it's not actually happening).  There's one girl at work who, regardless of what I say, has to relate it loudly back to being pregnant.  Her constant refrain is, "OH!  MUST BE THAT BABY!"  She also thinks she needs to pat my belly several times daily.  It's awkward because we're not friends.  All of this combined kind of makes me want to place the heel of my hand under her nose and shove upward. Have I also mentioned I'm feeling a little violent?

10.  I'm pretty sure that everything in my house smells like rotten food.  Husband told me this morning that I was imagining it, but I swear there's some kind of weird smell everywhere I go.


And just as a bonus story, yesterday my boss was telling me all about the kidney
stone(s) he's trying to pass.  It ended with, "So, you see, we're both kind of expecting."

Fabulous.  I thought when I quit The Doctor's Office I would be done with people relating the intimate stories of their health problems.  Looks like I was wrong.