I figure I'd be a good judge because even though I don't know most of the rules to the sports, I think the voice of the common woman should be heard.
Even though I haven't been officially hired, I'd like to give you a sampling of what my judging would entail:
1. On Facial Hair:
The soul patch is SOOOO over, Apolo, love. Of course, it's better than Shani Davis' Hitler chin-stach. The only thing that saves him is that he has a very nice voice. And he's also one of the best speed skaters in the world.
And, as long as we're talking about you, Apolo, I'd just like to say that if anyone ever wants to do a photo shoot of me, I'm totally doing a pose just like this one:
2. On Clothes:
Shaun White, I know you make millions of dollars a year riding your snowboard which means you can afford something other than skinny jeans. You already look 75% like a woman and let me tell you, honey, these pants don't help your cause at all. The nicest thing I can say about you in them is that at least they seem to be pulled up around your waist, which is more than I can say for your teammates in the halfpipe last night. I am very interested in your sport but the last thing I need to see on a 540 or 900 is a butt crack. Or brown panties. LOOKIN' LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND. But even with all that said, congrats on the gold, man.
3. On Costumes:
Everyone knew where I was going with this one before I even started. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Dude. Johnny. If you're going to wear a black corset accentuated with hot pink ties and look like a fairy, you gotta win. Looking like a fairy and losing is no good. That ain't nothin' new, baby.
Here's something closer to what you're going to want to strive to look/be like:
Here's something closer to what you're going to want to strive to look/be like:
5 comments:
You have to also admit that Apolo while yes the facial hair is questionable, he is freaking HOT! At least in my opinion!!! And the way he skates just makes him that much HOTTER! :-)
I love Johnny Weir. He is my favorite. The bird glove the last time and now the corset and pink tassels. A man after my own heart.
Did you know he broght a poster of Lady Gaga with him to the Olympics so she can "watch over us"
So fun.
Thank you for hating the skinny jeans on Shaun White. I was saying the same thing just the other night (already looking so much like a girl, the skinny jean look is just confusing everyone all the more). My kids were all, "Is that a boy or girl?" So difficult to explain... Although I have to say, many a girl is wishing they had his hair!
I think that should have said, "Many a girl ARE wishing..." Sorry. It would keep me up at night if I didn't clarify. :)
Ok, so I did some digging on Johnny Weir and it looks like his bird costume WAS the inspiration for Jimmy McElroy's peacock costume in Blades of Glory! I should have known!
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