I dreamt you were trying to teach me everything you knew. We were moving from subject to subject when I finally said, "Dad, why are you doing this?"
You looked at me and said, "Well, Erin, I have to teach you because I'm not going to be around anymore. I'm leaving tomorrow."
I didn't understand.
So I asked you what you meant.
You just smiled.
I woke up.
And understood that you had to leave without telling us.
Because had we known, we would have hung onto your leg. And cried. And begged you not to go.
Not that that would have stopped you.
It rained today. That lovely Texas rain. I always think of you when it rains. Because I know you would appreciate it - the way it sounds, the way it gathers, the way it looks. But not how it smells. Because it doesn't smell like sagebrush like Nevada rain does.
My job is going well. I love working with mostly men. Because men aren't catty. And they don't complain very much. And they usually mean exactly what they say. And I no longer have to fix or move anything - I just point at whatever needs to be done and bat my eyelashes and BAM! It gets done. What a change.
My boss, The Director, is a nice man. I feel inexplicably protective of him. I hope it stays that way.
Everyone is walking The Race to the Angel this weekend in your memory. I wish I could be there. I don't think I'd make it up the mountain, but I am a great athletic supporter. I want to close with this picture:
.
.I am proud to be your daughter.
Love,
Erin
7 comments:
I love your letters to your dad. I hope you don't mind that I'm reading them. He was a good guy and I know you miss him very much. Hang in there girly. Great picture!
Erin, I think these dreams are real and you should take them as such.
And, that picture is too cute. For what it's worth you have a very handsome daddy.
I seriously cried when I crossed the finish line. This lady kept trying to comfort me by telling me that she understood, it was a hard race! Instead of telling her that's not why I was crying, I just had to turn around and walk away. Also, I met Ray Reynolds at the finish line, and he nearly crushed my hand.
At least you didn't throw up on the lady and then walk away.
And, am I supposed to know who Ray Reynolds is?
True! It also occurred to me that it might be nice to work for a boss who doesn't make you take pregnancy tests.
Oh - I thought you knew Tommy Reynolds? They do the race to the angel every year - so I just thought they lived and wells and knew you. I'm not exactly sure where they live - but we did see them up lamoille canyon a few weeks ago with like 5 dogs. She was wearing a Spudman shirt, and we had a nice conversation about how she was never doing it again. I think it was much easier than the RTTA.
I know Tommi. Maybe I've met Ray and don't remember??
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