Friday, June 26, 2009

No More Controlled Substances For You

I wish The Doctor would refer all patients who think they need pain medications to a pain doctor.

Right now, he prescribes Vicodin and Soma to everyone and their dog.

Both The Nurse and The Fill-In Nurse are on personal crusades to make sure that no patient on pain medication gets a refill until theDayItIsDue and not one hour sooner.

The Doctor is also on a personal crusade. He only prescribes pain medication two weeks at a time. He'll prescribe it for 68.7 years. But only 14 days at a time.

That means that approximately every 13 days our office is inundated with calls from angry controlled-substance-taking-patients who want their Vicodin RIGHTNOW.

We have to very calmly explain to them that The Doctor will refill it tomorrow. They want to know why. And we have to tell them that two weeks is 14 days. Not 13 days. 14 days.

We have one patient who threatened us not too long ago saying he was going to come to the office and we were going to fill his medication OR ELSE.

That was fun.

We locked the doors and stayed quiet as mice so he wouldn't know we were in the office.

And prayed that he didn't have a gun.

But if he did I was going to point him to The New Receptionist and say it was her fault.

Because I didn't really want to get shot.

I have too much to live for.

I have a fish to take care of for Heaven Sake.

1 comment:

The Livingstones said...

we don't even get controlled substances, and i get upset when i can't refill my Rx early. i want my fluoride NOW! actually, the lady at the pharmacy is really nice and will do whatever she can for us since it's a whole hour to drive there.