This, after he told me that in all likelihood, I don't have Hepatitis, just a viral form of sinusitis. Because that's almost the same thing apparently. Sigh of relief. I was totally worried about that. Totally.
So, anyway.
As you all know, my fertility is apparently a constant worry for The Doctor. He wanted to know about my birth control (none) and whether or not I was keeping track of my cycle (no).
I'm not sure if he's asking as my doctor or as a Concerned Mormon Who Can't Figure Out Why I'm 30 and Have No Babies.
He told me that if I understood my cycle, maybe I would be able to get pregnant. I should make sure that my "relations" are centered around day 14-16 of my cycle.
He might have said that I should consider having sex daily during that time so I can, and I quote, flood my uterus with sperm.
I don't know anyone else whose boss says sex, uterus, sperm, and ovulation in the same sentence.
I wish mine wouldn't either...
ANYWAY...
There's just one little catch with all this.
I told him that.
He looked at me like I was nuts.
Then he reminded me that after all, I am 30almost31.
He said, "Maybe you should discuss your pregnancy options and your age with your OBGYN."
Well, you see, I would, but I've officially decided that I am never having children. Because I just read a description of what happens before, during, and after birth and it's just not happening.
As if my pregnancy phobias weren't bad enough already.
5 comments:
Well, I agree with "Doctor" that you should have babies -- you and Nick are WAY too awesome of people to not have babies. (And, I want to see what the Peters kid does in Sunbeams!) :)
But, you've got to tell him to quit using terms like "flood uterus with sperm." Uh, yuck!
OH my gosh. That must be so awkward! Ew! I've decided you must be a crazy person magnet or something. Your stories crack me up!
So very not right on so very many levels. Potentially very difficult to ask for a raise when you've had a discussion about flooding your uterus with "you know what".
I did have a very good laugh though when I read this....
You're only 30. There is still time. I was 38 when I had Britain and I will be at least 40 for the next one. I'm not saying to wait that long, but what is the doctor's rush?
maybe fertility counseling is a job perk. please read your hiring materials again. and, would you please just get pregnant so this guy would be satisfied that you're not totally inept in the baby planning arena.
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