Conversation With a Patient

Here's a hypothetical situation: say you worked in a doctor's office and you had a patient that refused to let The Lab Lady swab their throat but instead insisted on doing it themselves because of their extremely sensitive gag reflex (and let's also say they called the office in a panic before coming to confirm the number of positive swine flu tests that had taken place at the office...and whether there was anyone in the waiting room who might have it who had not yet been tested). This might be the conversation that would ensue with an office employee:

Patient: I have to swab my throat because of my strong gag reflex.

Employee: Yeah, all people have a gag reflex.

Patient: But I don't think you understand how strong mine is.

Employee: Mmmm hmmm... (while not paying attention at all)

Patient: Yeah, since my gag reflex is so strong I didn't actually swab my throat. I just rolled it around on my tongue. Because if there are germs in your throat, there are more than certainly the same germs on your tongue.

Employee: Uhhh...yeah, sure (all the while laughing inside because of the pending invalidity of the test and also wondering why she was gagging so loudly if she was only rolling it around on her tongue).

Patient: I know a lot about germs. I read about them on WebMD almost everyday. And that's why I'm one of the world experts on the swine flu. Seriously. I am.