1. I don't trust men whose hands are softer than mine. At the church Valentine's party, five women including me were blindfolded to see if we could identify our husband's hand. Luckily Husband has a very distinct hand, but in order to get to his, I had to fondle two other men (just their hands...I mean, we are Mormon after all). I literally dropped their hands because they were so soft and lotiony. YUCK.
2. I don't trust anyone who doesn't have a firm handshake. Fish handshakes make me want to vomit.
3. I don't trust any man who takes longer to get ready in the morning than I do. What on earth are they doing when they're still standing in front of the mirror forty-five minutes after they've showered?
4. I don't trust anyone who thinks they know everything. Because they don't. They're just pretending. And probably lying.
5. And speaking of liars, I don't trust anyone who has lied to me more than once. They've used their free pass and they don't get another one.
6. I don't trust anyone who thinks they need to wear their hood in warm weather. Listen, son, you don't need a hood when it's 90 degrees. And no, it doesn't help you look cool either.
7. Going right along with that, I don't trust anyone who doesn't know how to wear a baseball cap properly. Bills to the FRONT, people! Maybe they should start putting tags on hats that indicate their proper usage.
8. I don't trust anyone who loves Kid Rock. I mean, if they have that bad of judgement in men, what kind of judgement are they going to have in the rest of their decisions?
9. I generally don't trust anyone who has coined their own rap name. Just on principle.
10. I don't trust anyone who ends every-other-sentence with "it's none of their business, you know?" This is because those are the very people who will tell you (and anyone else who will listen) all of their business whether you want to know it or not.
3 comments:
Take back what you said about my lover Kid Rock.
Sincerely,
T-Bunz
I have to vote yes on the men with soft hands! And, the absolute worst is men with soft hands AND long fingernails. Yucko!
I love it when people used to comment on my strong hand shake. No one says anything about it because no one has a wimpy shake around here. Anyway, now I realize why we developed them. It's a defense mechanism. Either crush or be crushed.
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