Sunday, January 11, 2009

Parking Lot Brawl

The words "parking lot brawl" hardly conjure up images of old women, wheelchairs, and horn honking. That is unless you live where I live.

The other day, right out in the parking lot there was a fight brewing when a car with two ladies, one wheelchair bound was honked at repeatedly by another car with two more ladies one of whom, ironically enough, is also wheelchair bound.

They apparently did not realize was that they were pulling into the same parking lot and would have to face the wrath of the other couple.

So, as they were getting out of their cars, trying to get the appropriate person into the wheelchair, they were hurling insults and slurs at each other while also using the wheelchairs to jockey for parking lot supremecy. Keep in mind that these are 50-80-year old women.

Some of the reported language included, "I don't kiss a$$, I kick it."

Imagine your grandma saying THAT.

But that's not even the best part. One of the ladies also had a trach. That means that she had to cover it with her index finger every time she thought of something new and colorful to say.

I'm sorry, but I think your insults lose their sting and the fight has probably moved on by the time you get your finger over your throat...


diana said...

just wanted to know if trach granny was also puffing some cigarette through the trach? I've seen that before, makes you pretty grouchy trying to get your nicotine fix that way...could lead up to the parking lot brawl.

I'm so very glad to be reading your blog again. I've decided you should really write a newspaper column!

Erin said...

The woman with the trach is #1 only 45-years-old #2 A non-smoker and #3 A Mormon. Maybe she needs to START smoking...that might take away her crankiness.