Here are the things Hurricane Gustav taught me:
1. It is always better to listen to me than to listen to the official weather forecasts - I am always right about where hurricanes are going to hit and how much effect they are going to have on any given area. It is my special vampire talent.
2. When considering evacuation, give it twelve hours...the storm will turn (this lesson will come in handy for next time).
3. Before complaining about the fact that it took you FOUR hours to get to Houston due to evacuation traffic, make sure you are not in the company of the idiots who took I-10 - and therefore took three hours longer than you did.
4. If you decide to count the number of times you had to use your clutch in stop-and-go traffic, you will lose count at 84.
5. If anyone on the road is acting like an imbecile, you can count on the fact that 98% of the time, they are from Louisiana.
6. A GPS system is invaluable in getting around all the road blocks (kudos to Husband..I have no idea why they closed roads when they WANTED us to leave). They think they can make us take the road north to Livingston instead of going straight through Liberty?? I DON'T THINK SO!
7. The amount of anxiety you feel driving on Houston freeways is directly related to the following things: your claustrophobia, how many people think they have to merge RIGHT NOW, and whether or not you are aware of where you are and where you are going (and in my case, it's safe to say that I NEVER know where I'm going in Houston).
8. All of the food you were forced to throw away just in case the hurricane did come (which it didn't) WILL NOT be picked up by the evacuated garbage men. This means that when you return home, your outside garbage can will smell like death.
9. A trip to Houston provided a chance to see Thanet - and talking to an old friend in person without having to put on any pretenses (and getting a little dog and kitty love) is more than refreshing - it's renewing. Thanks, Cheeky!!
10. Husband doesn't understand my meticulous packing neuroses. That's right! If I brought the tooth paste in my little toiletries bag, it is going home in my little toiletries bag. That's because there's a designated toothpaste pocket. And it has to have toothpaste in it.
11. Having the best king-size bed in the entire world does nothing to help you sleep well when you have to sleep in a hard-as-a-board queen-size bed at the sweet Extended Stay hotel Conn's puts you up in...at least we didn't have to pay for it!
12. When national TV picks someone to interview about the hurricane or evacuation, it is safe to assume they will pick the biggest red-neck they can find...who is also usually toothless and who barely speaks intelligible English.
13. Gustav is just the beginning - it is followed by Hanna, Ike, Josephine, and Karina. Nothing like a nice tropical line-up. Perhaps we will get a chance to use our evacuation knowledge sooner-than-later. In the mean time, I 'm going to keep my fridge near empty.
3 comments:
When are you going to own up to the fact that you have twelve meteorological degrees and you are approved by the AMS?? Huh? When are you finally going to get the courage to buck up and apply for the weather channel? Your special segment could be something like, "Here's what everyone who has a degree is saying...and here's what's really going to happen." I'm just glad you weren't wrong. :) And there is nothing wrong with interviewing a toothless person--don't you know that all us southerners ain't got real teeth anyhows?
Hey, guess where there aren't any hurricanes??? Ireland, yeah that's right. Ireland! Come visit!!
AMEN AMEN AMEN!
I feel your pain sista. Gustav sucks. I wished I would have known you were in Houston. I was in Katy - just west of Houston and really could have benefited from your sense of humor.
Let's get together soon. llamame (call me in espanol)
Post a Comment