8/8/08

I know that the Olympics in Beijing started on 8/8/08 on purpose - eight is lucky in the Chinese culture. Eight did not, however, prove to be lucky for me.

Last night as I was preparing for bed, I opened the vanity drawer to find two roaches the size of my big toe crawling all over my toothbrush, no doubt laying little roach eggs that I would ingest and when they were signaled, would hatch and come flooding out of my mouth like some nasty science fiction thriller movie.

I have never actually seen a fully alive roach - sometimes we see the lethargic ones or the ones that are belly up after the bug spray man comes. When I try to pick these up off the floor, sometimes they put their nasty suction cuppy paws on my fingers in an effort to kill me before I smash them in a wad of Kleenex. I don't like them.

Husband came rushing to my rescue when I let out a long string of, "ewwwww....ewwwww. Ewwwwww." I gave him my already prepared toilet paper catch-all mechanism and told him that it was his job to kill the roaches so they wouldn't touch me.

Turns out those buggers are fast - so fast that they ran over the top of my toothbrush four more times before Husband gave me the toilet paper back and decided he was going back to bed...sans a TKO.

Ummmm... excuse me?? You can't go to bed and just leave me here with the roaches! I stared at the beetles as they swarmed my possessions and informed them that I was going to graciously give them a second chance but that I fully expected them to be gone by the morning or else I really would kill them - like kill them DEAD.

I think they were listening. They were gone this morning. If I see them again though, I'm going to kill them anyway despite the fact that they kept their end of the deal. I forgot to mention this to the roaches...sometimes life as a roach just isn't fair.