Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Pulled Over

I got pulled over yesterday. The officer was sitting behind me at a light when he flashed his lights...I pulled over, thinking that all I needed to do was get out of his way so. Turns out that it was me that apparently broke the law (and I was racking my brain to see what on earth I could've done wrong).

We had an enlightening conversation that went something like this (what I was really thinking will appear in parenthesis):

Officer: I'm Officer So-and-So (no, I cannot be accountable to know his name. I freak out whenever I get pulled over). Did you realize that your tail light is out?

Me: Why no, officer, I didn't (of course I don't know it's out, you idiot! I never stand behind my car while it's running).

Officer: I'm going to need your license and registration.

Me: Sure, sure (CRAP). Here's my license and ummm....my registration....ummm....yeah....I must have left it at home, officer (I wonder if he would take the registrations for the last 6 years because I have every single one of those).

Officer: Is everything on here current before I write the citation?

Me: Yes, sir, it is (STUPID COP! Why doesn't he go after the real criminals instead of the little white cracker girl who has never had even a speeding ticket? Someone downtown is even now being murdered and you're sitting here lecturing me about a burned out tail light??)

Officer: I've decided that I'm going to let you off today, ma'am. But, you need to get that taken care of as soon as possible and get a copy of your insurance in your car.

Me: Yes, sir. I apologize, sir (JACKASS!)

Of course, I was so shaken by being pulled over that when I pulled into the bank parking lot to do the nightly deposit, I managed to lock my keys in my car WITH THE ENGINE STILL RUNNING (stupid bank for not putting the night deposit in a position reachable from the car window).

Luckily, I quickly made friends with some thugs (who I thought were going to mug me when I first pulled in, which is why I instinctively locked the doors), borrowed their cell phone, and called Husband, who just happened to be 200 yards away, driving home from work. I'm not even lying when I say that seeing Husband was equivalent to having a knight in shining armor appear. I was quite distraught over my 3 minute lock-out period.

4 comments:

Holli said...

Oh, how terrible... I can totally relate. Why do cops insist on being so... "cop-ish?"

Porter Family said...

Glad you didn't get mugged. Glad you're still alive. Next time, you need to find a cop with a tail light out and pull a "Citizen's arrest." Good luck with that, and let me know how it goes.

Erin said...

Of course I didn't get mugged...and I didn't get a ticket...this is all because I am too good-looking.

We tried to fix the tail light last night but we didn't have the right tools. It's almost as hard as putting in a whole new engine.

JRome said...

I went to Albertson's to get a money order as my apartment complex didn't want a check for the new lease...

After getting my money order, I freaked out because I couldn't find my keys. Turns out it was still in the ignition.

I went back to Albertson's and asked if they had hanger--- I had to explain why I needed it, the cashier asked-- is your car still running?

I thought that was a weird question but after reading your experience, her question now makes sense!!