- 12 Mucinex
- 5 Azithromycin
- 8 Tessalon Pereles (which don't work)
- 10 cough drops
- 16 ibuprofen
- 20 fish oil capsules
- 12 calcium, zinc, magnesium
- 6 multi-vitamins
- 6 Prilosec OTC
- 6 Yaz
- 4 Tylenol PM
- 6 NyQuil
- 4 DayQuil (also doesn't work)
- 1 tube chapstick
- 226 Puffs Plus (working on 227 as I type)
- 1 couch
- 2 pillows
- 1 blanket
- 1 Husband
- 8 HOT showers
What does all this equal?? Six sleepless nights and six equally miserable days. I'm still sick as a dog. I told the doctor that I didn't feel any better today, my first day back at work, and what did he do? He laughed. LAUGHED.
Then, he asked the next logical question you would ask a patient who is dying (in front of the entire office staff): "When was the last time you and your Husband had intercourse?"
"WHAT?"
"When did you last have intercourse?" (the dirty-minded 69-year-old lady that works in the lab snickers)
"I don't know (I am certainly NOT willing to give up that kind of information in front of everyone). What does that have to do with this?"
"Well, I want to get a chest x-ray and I need to know if you're 10 days post-intercourse so we can get a pregnancy test on you. You know, those can show false negative for up to 10 days."
"Do you realize that this will be my EIGTH pregnancy test since I started working here and the second pregnancy test in LESS THAN A WEEK? That's one less than every two months! Can't I just tell you that I'm SURE I'm not pregnant? I'll sign a bloody waver."
"Oh, no, I need to know...did I mention those tests can show false negative for up to 10 days?"
This might be one of those MasterCard commercials about how much everything cost and at the end, it wouldn't say "priceless", it would say, "MAN! I GOT RIPPED OFF."
4 comments:
I hope you get to feeling better soon!
I finally got your book, I was waiting in line at a German deli and I couldn't help but laugh loud...people started to move away from me. It was at least, a good way to advertise your book though.
Get well soon!!
Holy freak. I think I would definitely get a new job at McDonalds just to get away from there. I've NEVER heard of someone being pregnant and having pneumonia symptoms as a cause of the pregnancy. What a joke. He can do a chest x-ray without a pregnancy test. Are you sure he just doesn't have a dirty mind? What an embarrassing situation to put someone in. Yikes. There's the title of your third book...how to avoid working for pervs.
Maybe this will cheer you up...the top 4 people in our Intramural Challenge are: you, me, Heather, and Emily. One of us is guaranteed to win. Ah yeah girls!!! You don't mess with the gamers!
Yes, I am very happy that we are the top four. THe only problem is that it is you and Heather against me and Emily or in other words (that more people will understand), Memphis vs. Kansas. GOOOOOO JAYHAWKS!
However, even if Kansas does win, the highest I can finish is second. This is all because I picked Duke. What a mistake. I should have known better!
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