I have lived in southeast Texas for a total of thirteen months. I have yet to make a single friend. No, I'm not being pessimistic, and no, I am not exaggerating.
In the past six months, Husband has encouraged me to call people and plan things. This usually involves me sweating and having an upset stomach for about three hours before I make the call (this is the reaction that I used to have when I called boys. Now, for some odd reason, I have that same reaction when I call girls. Strange). The point of me calling, Husband says, is to make sure that the person who I am calling knows that the event was my idea.
The typical activity is for whomever we invite to come over to our house to eat (this means that even if they have kids, they don't have to make special arrangements for them). We usually do most if not all of the cooking and most if not all of the clean up.
Despite the fact that we have invited several various couples (all from church because we don't know anyone else), the result is ALWAYS the same. We invite them over and feed them. Then, we don't see them for 3-4 months or until the next time we plan something and invite them over. It's very strange. You would think that there would be an equal and opposite invite coming from the other camp, but there are NONE (I guess Newton's Third Law doesn't apply). I'm not saying that they have to invite me over and cook for me, but what about something else?
It's getting to be a pretty expensive way to get to know people, especially when nothing comes out of the other end. I mean, I don't mind buying people's affection if it can be bought, but COME ON!
And what makes all of this even worse? Living in a semi-small town with an even smaller population of Mormons means only one thing: all of them have known each other their whole lives and they have married people who have known each other their whole lives.
I have taken to consulting Husband BEFORE I make any invites to make sure that the two or three couples we are inviting don't have any past grudges...you know, like from when they were in high school or some such nonsense.
In the past, I have made the egregious mistake of pairing people who apparently hate each other. At least that was semi-entertaining in contrast to stories about people from the past whom I have never met (and I am generally the only person in the room who has no idea what they're talking about).
What all of this makes me wonder is, why on earth can't I make a friend? Is it because I'm putting out a desparate vibe? Is it because secretly in my head, I'm thinking, "PLEASE BE MY FRIEND! PLEASE! I WILL BUY YOU STUFF!"
I'll never know. And in the mean time, I guess the only thing that I can do is to continue to make an effort even though I REALLY don't want to (because I am already emotionally tired from trying to present myself favorably to so many different people).
5 comments:
ouch... um... ouch... ouch.
"shot to the heart..." (sung in my best Bon Jovi voice). Since the last time we hung out family has been in and now we are all sick with the flu. I apologize. When we heal, we'll hook up. I guess that is the only way to respond to this. :(
I guess that neither one of you would believe that I actually wrote that post BEFORE we started hanging out with you? I had been holding it because I didn't want to offend anyone. Guess I blew that one out of the water.
Maybe the actual reason that I have no friends is because I can't keep my foot out of my mouth...
Accept my appoligies. I meant no offense.
As just as a PS, I'm sad that you are sick.
Erin, no offense taken. I am relieved that you don't hate us. Kyle and I consider you and Nick great friends of ours so we were just surprised to read that. I kept saying, "But, we brought Christmas flowers!" We promise that when we fully recover from this yuckiness, we'll hang out - perhaps even kid-free!
Meanwhile, just out of curiosity... if you weren't talking about us... then who was it? :)
That information cannot be revealed at this time. We can set up a sercure location and a secure line to release it, though.
And as far as the Christmas flowers go, I just threw them away yesterday. I couldn't bear to let them go because they were so pretty (I mean, when you first brought them, they were pretty. By the time I threw them away, it looked like a dog had peed on them). Don't worry, though, I still have all of my other Christmas decorations up. I figure that since I didn't get them up until right before Christmas, I can keep them up longer.
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