I Think I'm Going to Die

My question this morning is, does anyone know someone who has died of massive amounts of mosquito bites? Because if it is possible to die of mosquito venom (I call it venom because as far as I'm concerned, mosquitoes are nothing more than flying snakes), I think that I am a candidate.

Cheeky T invited me to a party in Pearland (south of Houston) this weekend. I literally had to make myself go because I am more than scared to death of driving on the Houston highways - I think there are about 85 billion of them that connect to one another at various different points, making driving there a crash course in developing a "get-the-hell-out-of-my-way" attitude.

Anyway, I arrived at the party with Cheeky, her BF, and his brother and sister-in-law only to find that we had walked into a den of fifteen Aggie fans (Husband, who is also a fan, could not come because he had to work). Now, I'm not talking about the kind of Aggie fans that watch the game and cheer. I'm talking about the Aggie fans that have "gear" and "Aggie rings" (http://aggietraditions.tamu.edu/aggiering.shtml) and shout profanities at the TV whether their team is winning or losing (hey, all I know is that if running the ball is working, WHY CHANGE? And PS, yelling at the TV isn't going to help anything). I believe I was the only person in the room cheering for the other team - more out of spite than anything else, although I did pretty much keep it to myself because last time I cheered for the other team in a room full of Aggie fans I got this: "You know what Erin? YOU CAN LEAVE."

In the end, after THREE overtimes, the Aggies did pull out the victory (and it's a good thing too, or I have a feeling the party would have been ruined). After that, all of the women congregated outside to take a gander at the hostesses trellis that she had recently purchased. Ok, #1 I didn't give a damn about the trellis #2 I wanted to be inside in the air conditioning rather than outside being the only female sweating like a pig #3 Texas has these mosquitoes that look like small birds of prey.

And, while I wanted to appear friendly and interested while all the other girls were looking at the plants and talking trash about their mothers-in-law, I don't think they really realized that the mosquitoes had honed in on the fact that MY BLOOD IS DELICIOUS. I felt them gathering, swarming all over me, plunging their beaks (or whatever mosquitoes have) into my tender legs. After about ten seconds, I started stamping my feet like a nervous horse and slapping at anything that was moving. And yet the girls continued to talk. FOR HEAVEN SAKE, I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE HERE!!

This morning, I counted up the bites - a grand total of 15 just on my calves alone (apparently my calves are deliciously juicy). And, they aren't just Nevada mosquito bites (because when I feel a mosquito biting me in Nevada, I'm all over that mosquito like a fat kid on cake. It doesn't stand a chance). These are Texas bites - ginormous welts up and down my legs from the mass amounts of swarming, blood sucking, STUPID bugs.

I seriously think I'm going to die. This is just one more reason (along with hurricanes and humidity) that southeast Texas is not the ideal place to live.