I Don't Belong

I've never won a game of bingo in my life. Seriously. Never. So, you can understand why I was reluctant to spend my hard-earned cash playing it this past weekend even if it was in support of a worthy cause such as the Ruby Valley Friendship Club. However, since I didn't have anything better to do on a Friday night, Judy-Roo and I headed to the community hall, quarters jingling in our pockets.

Let me just tell you that it was nothing like I expected it to be (which shows that I am apparently an idiot, expecting too much). For the first hour, I never even came close to winning. And, those who did win did so in this manner:

Winner: bingo.
Caller: Did someone just say bingo?? Did someone just win?
Winner: yeah. bingo.

Excuse me? You won? Because the way you're saying it, it sounds like you would rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks than be here! For heaven sake! Can we show a little excitement? A little emotion? An appropriate facial expression? ANYTHING??

Anyway, after the first hour and zilch in the area of results, I was about ready to give up when suddenly, they called B7 and for the first time in my life, I won Bingo. Here is my reaction to winning (while jumping up and down and waving my arms): BINGO, BINGO, BINGO! I THINK I WON BINGO! WOOOOOO! WAHOOOOO!!!! BINGO! My prize was a bag of tortilla chips and a bottle of homemade salsa.

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy.

A mere minutes later, I also won blackout on the same card, which set off another stream of me squealing and cheering for myself. I think it went something like this: BLACKOUT! BLACKOUT!! I THINK I JUST, YEAH, I JUST, BLACKOUT!!! I WIN!!! This time my prize was a sweet quilt with cowboy boots and hats on it (Merry Christmas, Nick! A fine TEXAS quilt!).

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy.

I seriously don't belong here.